Swaying images

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind,images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick.

Well I'd never want to see you unhappy,
I'd thought you'd want the same for me.

Goodbye, my almost lover.
Goodbye, my hopeless dream.
I'm tryin not to think about you,
Can't you just let me be
A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover



Just got back from Genting.. Well, this song was on replay for like countless of times on the coach, back & forth.

Got me to reflect some of the stuffs for the past 3-4 years. How life passed so quickly. How I once was a freshie in poly. & now, finally, graduated..

I really do feel that God has blessed me with so many things in life. Studies, BFL, Financials.. However, somehow I feel there's something lacking. Perhaps it's the way I view the day-to-day, common & typical issues of life.

*It's always the i-don't-give-a-shit kind of attitude that turns people off i guess.



Sometimes a love relationship is like a burning cigarette. We inhale the tobacco into our lungs, & we'll feel the kick. Once it's burned to the brim of the filter, we've lost the chemistry.

& you'd wonder why the supposed special one is treating you differently all together.

It thus made me believed why making decision based on logic & rationality would be a better choice instead on human emotions.

AND BECAUSE OF THIS, people in school think I'm some cold blooded, competitive & hypocrite kinda person. Well, I don't blame them because I know this problem lies within myself.

& Maybe this is why, A, you're feeling that way, uncomfortable.

Sometimes solutions ain't so simple, sometimes goodbye's the only way..

Callings.

Being an innocent party.
Why do financial difficulties have to be the barrier in most families?

Being pressurized, going through such motions takes life deeper than what it should be. Lives of the child gets too distressed.

Goals are developed, pride within them hardened. Emotionally, they all react differently to various stimulator..

Sometimes perhaps this is why it motivates you to move on to the next phase of life, adulthood, because only then you can take control of your own decision wholly.

Confessions.

Lyin here with you so close to me,
Its hard to fight these feelings when if feels so hard to breathe.
I'm caught up in this moment,
I'm caught up with your smile.

Dearest,
I really hope that we could pull this through together somehow.
So many factors that sets us apart. & I feel that it's a barrier between us.

I value long-term memories over than just "living for the moment" periods. I believe you do cherish such worldview too, don't you?

You mentioned before that you're sure that you'll wanna try to take things to the next level, but you aren't sure that would this be the route for you. Perhaps that you too, believed that chemistry that was found shouldn't be gone to waste just like that hmmm. This is why I think I really tried with the best of efforts that I could give into this. I know you're trying too, but I guess sometimes it's tough for a shy kid like you to express it thoroughly huhhhhhhhhh.

This is just some thoughts that came through my mind randomly, something that I just wanna typed out and not just bottle up. Ultimately, it's just something that I wanna share with you.

It may seem like I'm getting a little paranoid over this matter, even with the smallest issue. I know I'm just overlooking matters.

But this is because,
I don't wanna lose us without a putting on a fight.

Regardless.

Hope decays,
Generation disappears
Washed away
As a nation simply stares

Don't want to reach for me do you
I mean nothing to you
The little things give you away
And now there will be no mistaking
The levees are breaking

All you ever wanted,
Was someone to truly look up to you.
& six feet underwater, I do.



Have you seen the flaws already?
Would you still accept the imperfection state of a human despite seeing through it?

Actually, it's all on purpose.
Why? It's because we all need to know the truth. This sets apart a novelty feeling and true emotions are.

With things going on like this, somehow it feels like the road is heading towards a jagged surface.

It's just hearts.

When all I want is for you to see
The side that I don’t show to anyone
In fear that they may turn and run
Alone and incomplete
No more tears to cry
No more blood to bleed.

Today was the end of presentation. Sigh of relief.. But yet, still countless of things running through my mind.

I swear I'm gonna miss the computer lab in school.. Throughout this 3 years in poly, at least 50% of the time spent in the computer labs.

We're gonna graduate within a week already.. So many things left unsaid, so many things left undone.

Maybe somehow if things aren't meant to be yours, it will never be.
Face it.

Senseless Novelty.

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

This songs reminds me of the commitments in life.

What else more when your friends are brewing up a love novelty in your life? It is fun and exciting to be part of a love story. But what if things don't succeed?

Looking at things STATISTICALLY, relationship wise at this current phase is really tough to maintain. Things just come and go.

Sometimes we don't really need to be in a love-relationship to be loved. But like what they all say, to experience and be experienced in it.

On my knees.

The pastor was talking about having wisdom in life.

"A good outcome is always better than a good income"

I was reminded about this phrase that was mentioned 3 years ago.

& my eyes were closed. I found myself kneeling down at the fountain of life. When I looked up, it was Jesus. And he said with those beautiful eyes, "Son, drink this water of life, and you will be blessed with the wisdom that you need."

Some people say money can't buy happiness. But I beg to differ. Because I believe that in this world, money, is one of the key to happiness.

Because of financial problems, marriage lives are broken.
Because of financial problems, people start robbing.
Because of financial problems, parents sell their kids to those industries.

All these outcomes were never meant to happen. None of these events were ever desirable in the eyes of man.

This is because we're living in this world where money defines our social status, our standard of living, etc.

But there is one thing we all need to have. We need the wisdom.

Which is, never to worship the riches.