The last day of this tough year.

Over the skies of Bethlehem appeared a star
While angels sang to lowly shepherds
Three Wiseman seeking truth they traveled from afar
Hoping to find the child from heaven
Falling on their knees they bow before the humble Prince of Peace

We bring an offering of worship to our King
No one on earth deserves the praises that we sing
Jesus may you receive the honor that you're due
O Lord I bring an offering to you

The sun cannot compare to the glory of your love
There is no shadow in your presence
No mortal man would dare to stand before your throne
Before the Holy One of heaven
It's only by Your blood
It's only through Your mercy
Lord, I come.


Lord, I'll come to you.
I'll be an offering to you.
So I'll obey, trust and do.

You lift my burdens and shame high up.
For its your love that have filled my cup.

May no trials be a barrier for me.
May all chains from the devil be broken free.

3 more days to a better year.

Just completed touching up Psychology's project.
Kind of tired right now.

Had around 4hrs+ of project work on comm skills today. Hmm, this is one of the project meeting that I've enjoyed. Quite satisfied with the progress I must say.

Well, collected econs result. Still the same, disappointed.
Just barely hit the mark. Marks were lost due to incomplete descriptions of the answers.

Looking back, maybe I didn't really pushed myself hard enough, or its because of other external problems Im facing? hahaha.

Oh well, just have to work harder in the future.

Back to school.

"When will you be home?" she asks
As we watch the planes take off.
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead.
She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled.
As a child, she was my world.
And now to let me go,
I know she bleeds and yet she says to me.

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away..

School was demoralising today. Shit results for Comm skills.

Ckw, what are you doing? Spent so much effort on doing work and yet results don't pay.
Stop being such a dumb ass, learn how to do things in a smarter way. Study smarter, not harder please you blockhead. Acting like you're efficient but not effective huh?
So please stop dreaming and wake up your damn ideas.

ITS CHRISTMAS.

Im at Ernie's house now. Kinda chilling out haha. Mingkit, Dillion, Hui Hua and Ern's mum are mahjong-ing at the other side of the house now! haha.
Ernie's off to Zara, his workplace. Jiayou huh kid, DON'T SLACK :D

Caught Sherlock Holmes with Sher. Since it was an intellectual show, I was explaining to her whats it was all about half the time. DUMB KID! Kidding kidding.
4/5 bites for it. :)

Well, after counting down at Ernie's church, I wanted to go home! But oh, they forced me to ton! LOL. Hmm, although it was a catholic church, I felt the presence of God the similarly in contra to pentacosta, methodist, etcetc church.

Brought back a few points from what the Father said.
"Only through Christ, true happiness could be found. Since Christmas is all about giving, what can you offer to Jesus to obtain that true happiness? What are the struggles in your life you want to give it to Him to break it?"

Surprisingly, I chose love this time round. Sometimes, lack of love really kills. Maybe its true that love makes the world go around hahaha.

I think I'll stop here.
Merry Christmas once again guys :)

Its Christmas Eve.

Its been quite a relaxed week for me.
Well today's Christmas eve.
Streets at Orchard is gonna be so packed. Oh well, I guess majority of the people around the streets wouldn't know whats Christmas is all about. "Exchanging gifts and presents" thats all huh? Lol.

Went out with Dillion bro ytd. He's kinda funny, "Orchard Ion" became "Orchard Iron". LOLS. Went to his sister's church near plaza sing to support her. She's only like 8 yrs old? Quite cool, kids were singing and all. The church concert was held outside the church, felt quite warm. But yes, the presence of God can be felt even in such atmosphere.
Faith is just like a fuse in the lightbulb. If the fuse isn't there in the first place, how can God be lighted up in our lives? :)
Tons and tons of church members around Singapore came together to sing some Christmas carols, hoping to unwrapped the blind eyes and understand what is Christmas really is all about.
Well done peeps! haha.

Gotta start writting cards to friends soon! Take care all.
Have a blessed Merry Christmas.

Look at me, and tell it all.

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,Yeah, they were all yellow.
I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow".
So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all "Yellow."Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.

Good songs are hard to come by nowadays. Haha, talk about Lady Gaga and her nonsensical lyrics and songs?
Seriously, I'd give -10/10.

School is gonna reopen soon. Kinda looking forward to it. Hope this semester passes real quick, forget about all the stress, projects crap etc.

The service on Sunday was really good. It was a success I guessed. Many friends were being invited. Quite a number of them got saved! Great message by the Austrailian pastor.
Well, the topic was all about John 3:16. Stressing on the love of God, sacrificing His only son to die on the cross for us.

The ushering team did a lot of work. Super drained out. After that, headed on to orchard to meet up with bros and all.
Had Carls Jr for dinner! $7.10 for like so many stuffs.. 6 burger meals etcetc (Y)

Went to town AGAIN today (21st of dec) with cell members this time. Shopped at quite a lot of places. Ion, 313, Plaza Sing. Our feets were almost broken at the end of the day. Guys can't do serious shopping I guess.

Alrights, this post is quite redundant. Anyhow, just felt like blogging for the sake of it haha.
Gonna take a rest, nights all.

Inspired.

I was reading one of close friend's blog and was inspired to blog about it.

Both him and his girlf believes in different religeon. And yet they're getting along so fine and well. Well, He's a buddhist and his girl is a christian. Both of them took some quizes about listing down the priorties in life. Im glad that the girl chose God and her family as her 2 most important person in her life. Because if God is out of her life, things would go hayewire i guess.

Met up with this guy friend of mine ard 3 weeks ago. He looked great, loving life and doing well in his exams too. And yes, they have thought real far ahead about their future.

In life when one is having a relationship with the opposite sex, I guess its really appropriate to let their parents know about it. So at least their parents could guide them and not lead them to astray. But yet again, parents might not allow and hence kids tend to date secretly. lol.

Just wanna say: Yo bro, hope life would be as smooth as it seem on the outside throughout the years. You've really played a big part in my life once haha. Yeah, and I hope you'll acknowledge who God really is one day. Because life in this world is only so long. Whereas the afterlife whom receives Jesus is eternal. Its good to be "equally yoked" because the both of you would still be together even the afterlife. Wouldn't that be great? haha. Hope you guys last forever.
May God bless you :)

"What about us"

Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late, What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love had never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now.

Thoughts.

Went to school for project meet up today. It was quite productive I guessed.
Yes, we cant expect all hardworking students to be in a particular project group.

For me if such cases happens, I wouldn't mind slackers in my group. But the question to them is this: "Do you feel guilty about it? Do you feel guilty for not even putting the least effort in it?". This is just a minor reflection thats all. There isn't any hard feelings about it because life still carries on for both you and I. :)

Well, holidays are supposed to be holidays. But yeah, many of us wouldn't treat this 2 weeks of grace period as hols. Because partly its because its just 2 weeks? Compared to the 2 months we had last time. Or maybe its because of the project meet ups during this time?

Was quite disappointed for mid sem exams. I guess when results are out on the first week, things wouldn't be as good as I thought it would be before taking the exams. If we can't even forgive the minor mistakes we have made off in our lives, such as careless mistakes, what else can we expect if there's a major mistake made in the near future?

Maybe I should learn that mistakes are bound to happen in our lives. None of us are perfect. Facing the reality and picking ourselves up once again should be everyone's mindset.

Well, this is life.

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.



Well, 2 of them left without saying goodbye. So whats left to talk about?
Maybe when one ain't important anymore, we'll tend to overlook, neglect that particular thing.
This is life, this is reality. Life changes, preference defers.

Gonna send Josh off at the airport tmr. Love ya bro, stay strong with life. I'll always be there by your side.
Keep your stride, keep your faith and let everything else go.
Hope life would be better for you.
Surely you know I'll be there to listen to your problems don't you? :)

Jesus Messiah

He became sin
Who knew no sin
That we might become His Righteousness
He humbled himself and carried the cross

Love so amazing
Love so amazing

Jesus Messiah
Name above all names
Blessed Redeemer
Emmanuel
The rescue for sinners
The ransom from Heaven
Jesus Messiah
Lord of all

His body the bread
His blood the wine
Broken and poured out all for love
The whole earth trembled
And the veil was torn

All I hope is in You
All I hope is in You
All the glory to You, God
The light of the world



Im feeling kind of weak now. Emotionally weak.
God broke my heart while listening to this song. Kinda tearing now.
Its all about Jesus, its all about the way He change our lives.

This song is about Jesus sacrificing Himself, upon the cross.
Its His blood that washes our sin away.
This is how we'd get etnernal life. Because its Jesus whom mended the broken bridge that would lead us to God Himself.
The reason why we can't see God face to face right now, its because we're all sinners. How can one that is impure see God, when He is ever good and holy?


"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies"
- John 11:25


Lord, thanks for keeping me safe, keeping the fire within me to have a burning passion.
May all glory be with You.

Happy ever after?

Just got back from a wedding dinner.
Yup, they're a loving couple. Its their big day.

While travelling towards orchard. I was listening to the radio. This DJ from 98.7fm was talking about her love life. Talking about how hard she struggled with the r/s she had.

She said, "Back then, we knew our chance of being tgt till the end was zero. But we fought real hard together. Unfortunately after 2 years, gravity pulls us down back to earth once again. My guy's parents didn't accepted me because of religeon."

Maybe unequally yoke couples will last till marriage, but their life after that wouldn't be as complete as a whole. Because of different ideologies, morals would be weighed differently.
And because of that, couples quarrel everytime.

9 more days to midsem. Are we ready for it guys?

Deep wounds don't heal.

Had a bad day today.
Fucked up family.
Living in a place of agony.
Deep cuts won't heal, deep hurt somehow kills.

Anyhow, I love this feeling of loneliness.
However, striving for the best wouldn't bring much happiness.

Its just like, its me and the world alone.
Trampled and dismissed in a big fucking zone.

Although its something that I can cope,
But life within me has lost its hope.

This walk alone with God.

Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you.
Now I'm, wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside,
So I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.

So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...
Never gonna be alone.
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall.
Never gonna be alone.
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands,
'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you,
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know.

Never gonna be alone.
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
We're gonna see the world out,
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.


Projects are piling up once again. Yup, everyone is gonna feel the stress. So no point bragging about it.
13 more days to mid-semestral exams. Reasonable grades? Hope so.
M' so gonna walk this path with God alone.

Its good to dwell on the past, the good times that is. But its inevitable to face the reality one day.

Change is the only constant thing in this world.

I think I've lost interest in blogging already. hahaha.
Although many thoughts have been running through in my mind lately, I'd just backspace the things I've typed. Or, couldn't be bothered to blog..

Maybe life is only this long. But I guess the afterlife would be eternal. Been researching on "Euthanasia" throughout this whole week for the upcoming test on monday. Seriously, I think im gonna fail damn badly if Im doing this topic. Euthanasia simply means, taking lives on those who are simply helpless on the hostpital bed, or lives that are of no value. This is a super sad topic to write about. But it would definitely increase my exposure about life.

Maybe my summary of poly life would be :
-Lonliness
-Growing in the word of Christ
-Used to the stress level
-Ready for NS
-Went through different kinds of situations
-Learned a lot through past experience.
-Enjoyed the times I had with my close poly mates.

Grats to all O level students~ All the best for the result taking in January :)

Refreshed.

This alabaster jar is all I have of worth
I break it at Your feet, Lord, it's less than You deserve
You're far more beautiful, more precious than the oil
The sum of my desires and the fullness of my joy
Like You spilled Your blood, I spill my heart
As an offering to my King

Here I am, take me as an offering
Here I am, giving every heartbeat for Your glory
Take me

This time that I have left is all I have of worth
I lay it at Your feet, Lord, it's less than You deserve
And though I've little strength, and though my days are few
You gave Your life for me so I will live my life for You

Like You spilled Your blood, I spill my heart
As an offering to my King

Here I am, take me as an offering
Here I am, giving every heartbeat for Your glory
Here I am, take me as an offering
Here I am, giving every heartbeat for Your glory, take me

Worthy, worthy, You are worthy, worthy is the Lord
Worthy, worthy, You are worthy, worthy is the Lord
Here I am, take me as an offering
Here I am, giving every heartbeat for Your glory
Here I am, take me as an offering
Here I am, giving every heartbeat for Your glory
Take me.

Alabaster Jar - Gateway worship

Shall blogged about yesterday. Headed for cellgroup ytd.
Had games.. Everything went smoothly..
When Praise and worship session started, everything started building up and when this song, "Alabaster Jar" was being played, I broke down and cried because the presence was too much for me to take.

While connecting with God, I noticed that the lyrics was so meaningful.. Its about this lady carrying this jar of oil, offering to Jesus Christ. In the past, oil was considered to be a very valuable substance to anyone. And yet, the lady offered something to Christ that pricked her heart.
It was really a wake up call for me during these 2 months, to move on with time. Don't dwell in the places of sad memories but, move on with God. For He has a greater plan for everyone.

Giving up something for God that really mean a lot to you is difficult. But sometimes it does not mean that you're weak, its just that you're strong enough in the word of God to let it go.
So, I'll hope that placing my trust in Him would be the best solution I'll take, and never to regret it.

Emotions affects our eating diet.

Its been around 2 months or so since I really blogged.
Well, just a summary of my poly hols are like :
-Dota
-Eat
-Dota till early in the morning
-Wake up late in the afternoon
-Church
-Going out with Brothers.. Friends..
-Basically, wasting my life away.

Made the effort to meet up with Jacq and Wen Qin last saturday. (First time meeting up with poly mates!)

Today, its the real start of will power. Woke up at 7am.. Came home at 8pm.
School started 9am, ended at 7pm for me.. Its like, 10hours of school for me.
Plus 2 hours of travelling time ( Back and flow to Home and school).
10+2=12 HOURS OMGGG.

I bet my life is going to be interesting with the stress Im gonna face in weeks to come. Having 6 modules right now,
I felt its quite difficult to have a balance timetable for everything that I own.
Oh well, maybe I should just chill and take 1 step at a time.

Right now, its the start of the sem.. And yeah, the stress level is gonna build up soon too.

Aim for sem 1.2 :
GPA : 3.8 , C-GPA : 3.7
Is this possible to achieve? Yes ONLY if complacency does not take root in my heart and being hardworking. Plus, THERE IS NO COMPUTER MODULE TO PULL ME DOWN. LOL.

I guess everyone is smart enough to achieve anything that they dream for. The key to success is having a positive attitude in any area of our lives.

SECULAR!

Everytime - Britney Spears

Come notice me
And take my hand
So why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?

And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so smallI guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting meI guess I need you baby

I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clearWhat have I done
You seem to move on easy
And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so smallI guess I need you baby

And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry

At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
And everytime I try to flyI fall without my wings
I feel so smallI guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting meI guess I need you baby.


Its quite a sad song. Yet it applies to some at times.

Retards love to get drunk.

Today is a slack day, so I shall blog about what happened yest.

Met up with the bros at Hougang point, shopped for chips, soft drinks etc at the fairprice.
We were like throwing those foods and drinks into the shopping trolley just like how those cartoon characters throwing snowballs.

I've met many new faces, many old faces from sec school as well. Especially those ex-classmates with long hair and all. Kept talking about me in the past with long hair, haha.

The barbeque was good, thanks to Brandon's dad. He was like helping out with the bbq-ing of chicken wings, satay, otah.. practically everything! Haha, was one of the biggest eater over there.
Cake was cut by Brandon and his family hand-in-hand holding the knife tgt. I was kind of envious because I know I'll never get experience a "full-set" family love.
Thats life right? Although we can't choose our fate, we could still choose how the way we live our life. :)

After that, the girls went home, and around 15 of us headed to Brand's house. Thats when where the terror starts. After I took a bath, saw many of them playing the game "indian poker".
It was kind of retarded because the person with the lowest value of card gets to drink down those alcoholic stuffs.
Not long, many of them got drunk. LOL. Hurling vulgarities, spouting a lot of nonsensical stuffs. Super funny la.
Don't wanna mention names, but yeah, DRUNKARDS WILL NEVER ADMIT THAT THEY ARE DRUNK!
Some became aggressive, some were acting super high. If they know they cant hold liquor, they shouldn't even drink right? haha.

Maybe this is why church doesn't encourage its members to drink. Its like, when you're not in a sober state, any stupid stuff could happen. To groom them with a good habitual lifestyle, church leaders set a standard for its member to follow by discouraging drinking.

Overall, it was a fun time at Brand's place haha. Oh well, it happens once in a year, so i guess its quite okay for those kids to drink :)

Complacent, not complacent.

Hmm. Didn't blogged for quite awhile already. Partly is because at times when I tried to type a few chunks of sentence, I'd just backspace it all the way and finally, cancel the window.

Holidays right now are kind of slack for me. Yeah! NO WORK, having a couch potato lifestyle. I know thats kinda bad and unproductive.. But, its relax right?
Sometimes we need to relax over the holidays for a little while, to make it up for the slogging I did during school weeks.

Hmmm. Heard some of the students right now have already starting their studies on some of the modules for the next semester. Sher borrowed my microecons book to study with her study group.. I was like woah, so tense. Or is it kiasu? Haha.

At times when we thought we've achieved something that we desired, we tend to feel comfortable in where we are in life. Hence, not putting the extra effort to work harder because we've already clinched that goal.
Maybe there's one phrase in chinese that i would keep it in my mind, "一山比一山高."

In everything we do, no matter how great our achievements would be, there would always be someone better than us. Therefore, we shouldn't be cocky and arrogant in anything we do.

I'll be looking forward to this coming Thursday. Its Brandon's birthday! Yeah, gonna see some old faces again. Time to catch up with those old friends. I bet Ernie is gonna rape Brandon upside down. LAWLS.

Philippians 3:12 " Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."

Rid yourself of vanity

Let's see, this blog's been dead since forever. Revive, revive with my magical touch!


Life must have been pretty hectic for K, going out every day, buying more & more stuff, spending money & more money. But that beats staying at home every day I guess.


Hope you enjoy your holidays K! :)

Holidays suck.

Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have work out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt
you now I can't stop


I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry

It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go


You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
there's no moving on
So I'm already gone
Ahhh already gone, already
gone, already gone
Ahhh already gone, already
gone, already gone

Remember all the tings we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye


You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
there's no moving on
So I'm already gone

Remember the days when our hair were short.

Time really flies.. Just one blink of an eye, we are already in polytechnic, junior college.

Remember those days when we were in primary school. When the recess bell started to hit, ten to twenty school kids would all rush down to the table tennis court with our rackets to "chop" the table. Its kind of cute because once we've "chopped" it, we are the owner for the table until we leave that place. But thats what we really did.

When we are innocent and naive, everything to us seems simple. But as we grow up, we tend to think things in a more implicit, more complex way of how life actually is.
Right now, we have to be aware of what the real world can do to us. Its not as simple as we think it usually is.

Those brothers I have, I hope we would never fade away. Imagine when we have booked out from national service on weekends, all of us hang out at some coffee shop with our heads all shaved. And its kind of cool because those people around us would really admire us, "woah, these bunch of botak friends really have tight friendships."

And I think brothers will always remain one of the highest priority in my life. They will always be some kind of strong pillar. Whenever we have bgr probs, money probs, or fighting probs, they would always be here for us. And having heart to heart talks with one and other throughout the night would always be so meaningful. Its something that money couldn't buy.

The reason why they all say poly friends cant be trusted, its because we dont really know the kind of background that they came from. Like I said, when we grow older our mind start to think further. Its the complexity of our minds that kills us.

Exams has commenced.

Reached school at about 1.50pm?
It was pouring heavily like crazy. While walking on the bridge that connects design sch and the library, I could literally feel chills. The strong wind and rain were blowing. wooooh. *HAIRSTAND*

Econs was manageable I guess. As usual, "FAIL ALREADY LAAA."
1 paper down.
Left 3 paper to go. POM's on monday, and its gonna kill me.


Scars (Stronger for life) - Corrine May

I just want to run
Just want to hide away
Close my eyes to your gaze
Just want to leave
Don't want to hear them say
"You're no good at this"

When the world swirls with naysayers
Broken wings and torn pages
The road ahead
Drowning in my tears

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Losing myself
Gaining it back again
Forging strength from weakness
All that I am
All that I'm meant to be
Melting in your hand

Let the world swirl with naysayers
Pickled hearts and sour faces
What is real is what I cannot see

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Cut away
All within me
That won't bear fruit
Cut away
All within me

Cut away
All within me
That won't bear fruit
Cut away
All within me

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger

Scars make us stronger for life

Five loaves and two fishes

A little boy of thirteen, was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly, the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox, at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
The kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out
With the trust of a child
He said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all"

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
No gift is too small

We need to play smart at times.

Sometimes i wonder if cell group is time consuming or not.
For me, after trying so hard to fit into cell, i still feel that cell isn't really for me. Im an independant person. Usually, I'll cling on all problems to myself and solve it by myself. It always has been.

The reason why church create cell groups is very simple. They want us to grow together as a "loving family" and learn about God's word with one heart, one nation.
And if one of us fall, we share our problems with one another. This would then help us by giving us constructive advices and encouragement.

But then again, yeah. There are both pros and cons in attending cell groups on saturday. haha. I guess that some of us played smart. They quitted "zone4", and just attend church on Sundays. With that, so much time is being save.
Maybe the term 'playing smart' in this situation cant be used in here. How can God be compared to the earthly things in this world? By right, we should all the more give God the time. For he isn't knee high, waist high.. BUT THE MOST HIGH.

Life life life, is life that complicated? Or is it complicated because of human's thinking? So what if we strive our best in our examinations and achieve good grades at the end of the day? Will we be satisfied with it?

Quote of the day : Earth can meet man's needs, but not greed.

Lets hope this quote can be sealed in the heart of those readers of my blog out there.

Sometimes things don't go the way we want it to be.

In life when we want to achieve something, there would always be a sacrifice in everything we do. When we are determined to do something, achieve something, we need to forgo something that we loved very much. And maybe one example would be our classmates.
I feel that I've been drifted far apart from some of my classmates. And I feel that its kind of selfish for me to do that.

When tremendous efforts are being put into your coursework and the results doesn't pay, it would be very discouraging because you've lost both your friends and efforts as well. Should the blame be on my groupmates? Or should the blame be on myself?
If we look on the brighter side of life, we could move on and learn from the mistakes that we've made.

Recently, words preached from Pastor Dan and Pastor Yang have been relating with the life Im going through right now. Are we going to give our best even when we are about to reach the finish line. Or are we going to be left stranded feeling discourage and do nuts about it?

Throughout my life in poly so far, there are 3 friends in my class that I am sure that are genuine.
Kaye, Wei Lin and Jason have shown their genuine friendship to me. And I guessed that Im quite lucky to have them as friends to go through poly life with me.

Another person in my class that I really looked up to, is Wen Qin. In class, I can sense that you have the drive in doing well for exams. And I often take you as a benchmark, a person that I could look up to for motivation. Although I know that the class have been ostracizing you because they dont accept the way you are. But I just want to let you know that.. Hey! You still have a friend like me. And its not because Im a "CHRISTIAN" or anything. But its because I genuinely feel that its good to have you as a friend.

There is one verse in the bible, Proverbs 3:5-6 :
Trust in the Lord, lean not in your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Placing my trust in him and believing that he will provide is what Im going to do.

9th of August 2009

Met Crystal and Boonkiat on the bus. Reached Raffles City and grabbed some of Ya Kun's set meal A for breakfast.
Everyone was like wearing red! Its good to be a patriotic person at times! :x

Headed to REDIATE's service. Message preached by Pastor Yang was kind of good.
Its about giving our best even when we are reaching the peak of our lives.
Thats why some say even when you're in your deathbed, you're learning something new.
It was kind of messy when another Pastor was translating into chinese though.

Service ended, went to marina square's food court to grab some lunch.
Shaun, Ernest the rest came to look for Daniel and I. Hmmm, trained from city hall to marina bay.
We wanted to take the feeder bus to Marina Barrage. But then so many people were waiting for the damn bus.
Ernie and his stupid idea, we RUN-WALKED, PLAY CATCHING till Marina Barrage. My goodness, I think the distance was about 2km or so.

Slacked at the grass patch at third floor. WOOTS, SO MANY PEOPLE HUH. Brandon, this kid especially, "EH THIS BLACK ONE, THIS RED ONE. See the scenery leh." What a lustful kid. LOLS.

Dillion met his favourite girl by chance, NICOLE HUH? Sad for him, it took quite a long time for him to pluck his courage to ask Nicole if they could take a picture tgt at the barrage. BUT sadly, awww. She was kind of shy WE guess.
Don't worry bro, brothers are what you need only. (:

Barrage was kind of romatic because there is a runway where we could see the beautiful sea along bridge, and the wide grass patch with lots of strong wind that could contain like 3k people.

Sky started to turn dark. Fireworks came out at around 8pm? haha. It was beautiful, but unfotunately the main fire works were blocked by the 3 damn buildings. So the scenery was kind of bad afterall. :/

WALKED BACK from barrage back to Marina Bay station. Thousands of people were on the go. Machiam riot lehh.
By then it was about 9.30pm when we reached the station. Trained back to Serangoon. Ate our dinner, slack slack talk crap till about 11pm.
Bused back home with Shaun.





DILLION THIS KID, PLAYING IN THE MRT. THINKING HE IS A SUPERMAN.

Reflections after reflections.

Many of time people post on their blogs about how their friends gossiping bad stuffs about their back.
But I just realised that, it always takes both sides to create a force movement that would result in a collusion.

Its like, if you dont wanna get your back being stabbed, you shouldn't even start the ball rolling in the first place.
Even when the person starts to light the match stick up on you, why not just receive that bad blow first. And try to look at the better side of that person?
Perception will always change when people judge about the actions that you've done.
So the term "first-impression" isn't really that important afterall.

After yesterday's discussion with some of my classmates in the library, I guess being humble is one of the most important value that everyone has to keep. No matter how good are your grades are, how much salary you could scoop up in the near future. If you're always flaunting about your wealth and achievements, you'll never gain any mutual respect from the surroundings.

Being cocky means being complacent, there wouldn't be any drive in the area that you are suppose to be in. Resulting in a downfall.

Texted Pastor Dan ytd about some verses on humility.
1 James 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Picking up is what winners do.

Went for BSC camp. Hmm, got to know different people from different course.
Was quite surprised that one of my crew was from City Harvest Church. Got to know that guy during easter service. Kept shouting for cheers during the camp. Kind of lost voice alr.
"V A S C O, VASCO VASCO, LETS GO!"


Hmmm. Praise and worship was good today.
Pastor dan shared about how the word love is a pillar to us.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

SLSM, get well sooon! Drink loads of water, see more of me. LOLS.

Drained.

Monday - 27th July

I don't know who to trust, no surprise
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts sift through dust
And the lies

Trying not to break,
But I'm so tired of this deceit
Everytime I try to make myself
Get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring and time between
And how trying to put my trust in you
Just takes so much out of me


I'll take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
Cause I swear, for the last time
I won't trust myself with you

Tension is building inside, steadily
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts forcing their way, out of me

Trying not to break
But I'm so tired of this deceit
Everytime I try to make myself
Get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring and time between
And how, trying to put my trust in you
Just takes so much out of me


Take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
'Cause I swear, for the last time
I won't trust myself with you

From the Inside - Linkin Park

Ra sucked at usual. Learnt nth new. Was kind of a refreshement for the mind.
Spent some time at the library, completed both individual and group work.
4 projects down, 1 more to go. Bused home at about 6.30pm.

Met up with Dillion and Mingkit at blk 323 at about 9plus? Dillion went off with his dad first. Had a nice chat with mk, poured out my troubles to him.
Conclusion : Its good to have friends that are trustable and genuine. Hmmm, those friendships I've made since prim school till now, I'll never let them go. Thanks mk and dillion (:


Its okay to take advantage, but not going overboard.
All humans have limits.

long day long day.

Saturday - 25th July.

Left house at 10am.
Had marketing proj at 7th floor of school's library today.
Not bad, kept disturbing Kelly about how BIG SIZE she was. SHE NEEDA SLIM DOWN AND STOP eating on those chocolates. Sinful sinful huhh. :x
(Kelly, want me to be your food nutritionist? Just like I did for mengyun? Maybe I wouldn't need to spend money on lunch anymore. Kope all the food only :D)

Hmm, im quite satisfied with the progress. Guess things starts to pick up once again for me.

Decided to head towards the opposite of school to have lunch. Met SLSM on the way there. Quite fated hor?

We ate at kfc, some family combo thing. I guessed i ate loads of Kelly's portion. She should be glad about it huh. Helping her to slim down LOLS.

Headed to church for cell after that. Sorry guys, didn't brought my bible. Didnt expect my proj to end that quickly. So yups, haha.
Went for dinner with some of our cell mates at boonkeng.
I won the guessing competition. We were suppose to guess how much did the dinner cost. Hmm, it cost $87, but i guessed $95. So i won for being the nearest guesser.
Terry treated my share of dinner for being the winner. THANKS A LOT AH. LOVE YOU LOADS.

Bused home at about 10pm. 12hours out of house. Lets do it more often.
It ain't home sweet home at all.

28 more days.

Do you know what's worth fighting for,
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I.

21 Guns - Greenday


Pick yourself up kid. No one is going to take pity on you. The shadows would be the only one walking with you.
Roughly 4 more weeks to exams. cool huh.

Facing reality.

POM presentation was kind of bad. Individually, guessed I didn't do that well for it. But our grouped aced the skit. Got the class and teacher's attention. Star actor or rather "ACTRESS" goes to Jeremy. He was playing a girl's role during the act. Hmmm, the video of the skit would be uploaded on facebook soon!

Quote of the day. "The greatest glory isn't about not encountering any failures. But picking ourselves up when we fail."

Although we didn't performed at our optimum performance during the presentation, we could still focus on the end sem test. All hope isn't lost yet.

To Jeremy, Kaye, Sharifah and Kirin : Lets do well for POM's end sem exams tgt alrights. At least we owned in the group presentation :)


Thanks for being concern, Im alright. Those worries are being sincerely appreciated :)

When we are weak, dwell in His place.

Here in your presence,
We are undone.
Here in your presence,
Heaven and earth become one.

Here in your presence,
All things are new.
Here is your presence,
Everything bows before You.

In delimma.

Many stuffs has been happening recently.
Will targets be achieved with thousands of obstacles set infront of our eyes?

End sem exams are coming in about 4-5 weeks or so. Roughly 1 month? Project deadlines are hitting on the days to come. Will we attain the desired grades we want? Or would we be left disappointed after those countless of meet ups, travelling time invested on it.

Being a follower of Christ isn't easy. I don't have as much free time as my unchurch friends. My weekends are so called being "burned-up". But in return, I get God's love, encouragement. I was browsing through my msn list just now. And one of my close friend's pm goes like this, "How much does following Jesus would cost?".
This seriously strucked me hard.

Done some deep reflections. Like i once said, situations can be viewed in different perceptions. It depends on how we look at it. Would we wanna look at the cup being half filled? Or the cup being half empty.

Christianity doesn't offer us a bed of strewn roses. It doesn't give us what would we want, we desire at all times. And when things don't walk smoothly, we tend to doubt God's existence. The word "FAITH" comes into the picture.
Hmmm, at times I question myself why do I still wanna dedicate my weekends, my life towards an intangible person? When i could seriously do much enjoyable stuffs with my other friends.
The reason is simply, God's love. Emphasising on blogs, repeating over and over again wouldn't be effective. The only way that one could really understand what Im trying to imply, is to have an experience with him. A serious encounter with him.
A time when you'd really get to feel his presence manifesting.



Another question for the day. Would you all want to have undivided or divided attention from someone?

An undivided attention is something you get from a special person. The other half that you'd really share your thoughts with, someone to cling on with. Go through tears and laughter together, knowing more about what life could really offer you.
You have to be responsible, being able to handle the word "LOVE" in a mature way.

Or a divided attention from friends, a much casual friendship with no emotions attached?

Sorry guys, kind of stress right now. It gets me thinking and I cant sleep lol. Its like 1.30am in the morn and im typing nonsense.

Hope everything would be alright after a goodnight's rest.

Is it something real and meaningful?
Or would it be just another name.
Will it be something that would last?
Or would it be just another game.

Why-Nicole Nordeman

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said he was stronger then all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why?
Why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry's
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why?
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?

My precious son
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hour
I must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below
See the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die

When the word dawns upon our hearts, faith is as unconscious as breathing.

Attended service today. Hmmmmm, Pastor Dan shared about "Christ the Healer".
He reminded us that Christ was not only able to heal us when we seek for him. But he is WILLING AS WELL.
Felt good after some of the church members like Tim, Zh and william prayed for me.
Thanks everyone for praying.
It was kind of ironic, many of my church-mates fell sick on the same week, with the same implications like sore throat..cough and stuff like that. Is it cursed or is it just coincidence? Haha oh well.

After service, hanged out with cell mates at the coffeeshop near the train station of potong pasir.

Didn't brought my keys out. So i couldn't go home immediately after service.
Met up with Daniel and Dillion at Dhoby Ghaut after that. Slacked around there, talk about life. Time really flies when Im with them. Ate dinner at the 6th floor of plaza sing. Trained back home with them at about 7pm.



Ohmy, i hope you'd know how i feel. Im trying, im trying really hard. And I'll continue to try harder.

Results wont bring eternal satisfaction to oneself.

Kind of pissed when we got back our econs results. Although yeah, not to boast but, I got the highest for econs in class. And that pretty lady in class kept telling me to watch out because she cant face the reality. "We see who get higher for end sem exam okay? I wanna prove to you that I can beat you."
Why must you be so tense and competitive?

I was thinking to myself, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS KID. ITS ONLY RESULTS. PLUS, THE BOTH OF US GOT an A FOR THE SUBJECT."

Results doesnt really satisfy our thirst. Its pretty much similar when it comes to money.
Like they say, " Earth can meet man's need, but not greed."
This is why they all say that poly is full of politics, backstabbing and stuffs. But I'll choose not to believe in it, because what I want is peace in my poly life and among my peers too. We would have fun, stress, cry together. It builds a strong foundation for the friendship we make. And the sweet memories would never be forgotten once we had graduated from the campus.
What matters most is the love you have among your peers, family etc.
And can I emphasise once again, that God's love is everlasting and exccedingly abundantly. Even when we ain't faithful towards Him, He is still by our side.
Its that agape that He has shown me. That is what kept me going on and on.

To that pretty lady: Poly is a place to have fun with friends, working together to achieve good grades. It isn't about solo-ing in school and topping the class.
You'll wanna graduate as a loner, a loser without close friends? I hope not. If not I'll feel a sharp pain for you.
Piece of advice, have some Christ in your life.
(If you know who you are, no offence to you. But I just need to point out this flaw to you. Hope you'd understand what I meant.)

Been to the bottom of every bottle.

3rd July- Friday.

Had tons of project yest. 3 subjects cramming in one day really sucks.
Didnt felt like friday haha. More of that kind of "Monday Blues".

Stuffs ended about 5 plus. Accompanied Kellyann to boonkeng, met up with the bros at Bishan's Pizza hut for dinner. Their retarded cells were acting up again. LOLS.
Went to Dill's house after that to pick something up. Felt the "suana" heat of his house again. As stuffy as always hahaha. Hmmms, had a short heart-to-heart talk with him. Thanks bro :)
All the best in settling down in a new church.

Life is a sum of choices.

Never made it as a wise man,
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'.
Tired of livin' like a blind man,
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feelin,
And this is how you remind me

This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breakin'
And I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream "Are we having fun yet?"

It's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
And it must have been so bad
Cause living with me must have damn near killed you

And this is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breakin'
And I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream "Are we having fun yet?"

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me

This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breakin'
And I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream "Are we having fun yet?"

How you remind me - Nickelback


Had APEL class today. Which stands for Applied Principles for Effective Learning.
Learnt quite a lot from Dr Arnold. Hmmm, were talking about a given situation, where the girl was pregnant.
If we were in the girls shoe, should we :
1) Abort the baby and forget about everything.
2) Born the baby and receive the hardship and difficulties in time to come.

If you were the girl, what would your choice be? Ummm hmmm.

Oh well, both retail accounting and marketing tutorials were fine for me. Just that got a little bit of conflict with Kaye. Sorry huh, things just got heated a lil just now. No hard feelings. :)
We should act like a grown up, put issues aside and work towards the finish line.

Situations can be viewed in different perceptions.

Hmm. Many things have been happening recently.
Friends having their relationship breaking up, friends feeling insecure.
Family problems raking up again, current projects aint hitting As.

Like what i told Steph, situations can be viewed and different angle.
Lets say a cup is half filled with water. We can all view it at 2 points.
1) The cup is half filled with water.
2) The cup is still half empty.

We can either look at the positive side of the situation, or we can be pessimistic about it. Thoughts and view simply affects the way we live our lives.
Do we wanna be a champion that picks oneself up when one fall, learn from mistake and carry on.
Or do we wanna be a loser procrastinating about how badly we've done, self-pity and all?

Cheer up Steph,time heals and yeah, soon it will be all over and wounds would be healed :)
But as a friend, I suggest try going to church and look for love. I believe God's house is a loving house. For He provides exceedingly, abundantly, above all. So yups, everyone have different ways of encounter with God. I'll be there as a friend for you. :) No boy's love wont die one. Seriously hahaha. Now still young, the guys cant provide for you a steady bowl of rice. Jiayou jiayou, wipe all ur tears and fears. :D

Let your praise become my embrace.

Everything is meaningless.
Wisdom and folly are meaningless.
Pleasures are meaningless.
Anything without of God is meaningless.
(A summary of the bible in the books of Ecclesiastes in the first few chapter.)

So, a blog post without God is meaningless too. My friends once told me blogging is like a diary. After reflecting deeply on the issue, whats the use of blogging when God isn't part of it? To grow in deeper of God, we need to
relate issues with God, doing regular queit time. The spiritual man needs food, just like the physical man.
And the food of a spiritual man is to feed on the word of God. Thats how you grow deeper in Him.

Another issue that has been going through my mind recently, is with the appearance of a Christian.
The leaders of a church encourages us to portray a good image of ourselves to everyone. (Looking neat and nerdy)
For me, I feel what matters is the inner self of us. Because that is what God would look in us.
God made us the way we feel, the way we express ourselves. But God gives us a choice to make decisions in life as well.

So no matter how ugly, gangsterish, punk, nerdy, innocent, handsome, retarded we may look; As long as we abide in the word, being doers of the word. We are followers of Him. But doing with moderation is necesarry at times in life.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is a time for everything, and a reason for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to rejoice,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Its that cross that changes our life.

Hmms. Right now, im in school's library.
Kaye went down to print some stuffs. So Im waiting for her return WITH MY TUNA SANDWICH. YEAH, IM SUPER HUNGRY.

Just finished part of POM's project. Its been really busy for me these few days.
Met up with Kirin and Sharifah ytd for pom, today was with Kaye.
Lets just hope everything would be fine after the storm.

Woke up at about 9.30am today, tried to get into the TP's website for CDS selection. Website was like super busy, cant GET IN.
Prolly everyone was trying to choose as well. Oh well, its first-come-first-serve basis.. So yeah.
Decided to wash up and get changed for school. I'm a lil bit kia su as well, rushed down to school because the comp wouldn't get hang while serving the TP's website.

*Cross fingers* Hope the first 3 choices of CDS would be avaiable for me.
Lets have faith in the Lord and trust in him, for he will provide.

This morn while rushing for sch, I was at the bus stop. Was waving frantically for a cab. The cab was either hired, or the bus was blocking the view of MY HAND WHILE WAVING.
In the end bus 22 came, decided to hop onto the bus. Just then, while reflecting on the bus, God spoke to me. Told me to have faith in him, just relax and everything would be fine. Was kind of convicted because I was like cursing due to the frustration i was facing while getting a cab. The only way to be like Him, is to be doers of His word.

Matthew 5:3-10
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of their righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom to heaven.

What a beautiful disaster.

Oh, and I don't know. I dont know what she's after.
But She's so beautiful, such a beautiful disaster.
And if i could hold on, through the tears and the laughter.
Oh Lord wouldn't it be beautiful, or just a beautiful disaster?

Im longing for love and the logical,
but she's only happy hysterical.
Im waiting for some kind of miracle,
Waited so long.




LOLS. I GUESSED IM BEING LAME.

A NOVICE POEM.

They say she is hot, I say she's beautiful.
They think she is lame, I think she's wonderful.
They feel that she is a demand, I feel that she is a need.

She isn't just some pretty face,
Because she never fail to leave me amaze.

Although she is a little cute and innocent,
Her laughter was always filled with passion and excitement.

She cares for me and yes i know,
But the gratitude for her, i'll never show.

She needs someone to care and love her,
And I'd pray that she'll be the one I'm after.

Its that agape.

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

You are the voice that calls the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name

Till I see you - Hillsong

Just wanna share a simple message to everyone out there.
Hmm, from what I've learnt, there are 4 kinds of love.

1)Agape - It refers to the unconditional and selfless love for a person. Usually towards your family. Its like a parental love. This love can be displayed by your parents, and most importantly, shown by God.

2)Phileo - It refers to "brotherly love". Like brothers for life, etcetc. Going through thick and thin with your close friends no matter what happens.

3)Eros - A love relationship with the "other" half of yours. Like husbands and wife have.

4)Storge - Refers as a general term to describe the love between exceptional friends, and the desire for them to care compassionately for one another.


Hmm, just wanna focuse more on the first love. Which is the Agape shown by Jesus Christ. As Im self reflecting right now, I couldn't imagine how much pain He bore when He was crucified on the cross. Although He didn't deserve that treatment, He still love us very very dearly.
If you could really understand what i meant, it means that you'll live for Jesus, showing christ towards everyone.. Even the most outcasted classmate, you'd still accompany that person, make that person feel welcome.
If you have faith in Jesus, He will provide.
And yes, i agree its life changing towards everyone that receives him.
I see gangsters taking off their ear studs, quitting smoking, earning a honest living.

Oh my, I can't believe Im actually blogging about such issues. But yeah, I guess i have to say what i need to voice out. Hope you guys won't feel offended anything.
This is just my point of view of life.
So yup, the best way to pull through difficult moments is to cling tightly onto Him.

Oh well. Sometimes i feel that blogging about what happen throughout the day is redundant.
Yeah, because it makes no sense to brag about life to anyone who reads the blog.
Don't you agree folks?
Why not blog about something that is really really meaningful and motivational huh.
So yeah. Right now, I'll try to blog what I think its encouraging to the reader.

Peace.

Sunday - 7th june

Hmm. Attended the first service at "The City Church"!
Reached church at about 8.45am. Everything was done up so nicely.
Did greeters duty..
Pastor Dan shared about the people in church acting as a living stone.
Everyone is responsible for the whole ministry. Not only the leaders. EVERYONE.
Yeah. It was a great kick start for the new church I guess.
Stones being joint together, we are one whole strong congregation of the building.

Service ended, Po Tai followed me home first. Changed to slackky outfit and headed to bugis.
Met Meng Yun and Jason haha. Shopped around, bought 2 berms from street.
Aftr that, Po Tai left us.
Meet up with the rest of 1R02 at bedok. Oh well, actually it was only like 9 of us.

Headed towards East Coast Park. Some skate, some cycle, Meng Yun and I slacked at burger king. Michelle and Jeremy came after that. Started play frisbee inside BK.
Kids right? haha.

It was 7 alr. Everyone was tired from their activities.. Jason, Wei Lin and Kellyann were tired from Cycling. Pamela, Kaye and Skater ken were tired from Skating. While Michelle, Jeremy, Mengyun and I were tired from BITCHING. LAWLS.

Decided to head back to Bugis for steamboat after the discussion and arguements.

Not bad right. Stuffs ended at about 10pm.
BITCHING, LAUGHING AND EATING were what we all did.

Its Saturday.

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write
over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have
for me over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

Only Hope - Mandy Moore


Oh well, nothing much to blog about. Just find this song very meaningful.

Going for combine meeting later on at the new church.
Hope it would be a meaningful meeting later on.














Wow. Hmm, back from the meeting.
Terry shared about the 2 definations about being a christian and a disciple.

The name christian is merely a "position" and a "name", saying that you're a believer of him.
Being a disciple means, being able to follow and live like the way Jesus did.
Going to church alone doesn't make you a passionate Jesus lover.
You need to learn about the word, putting the words into action. Thats what makes you a true christian. Doing the right stuff even if there is no one watching.

With the actions you've done, you're showing christ-like to others. Rather than using words to encourage friend how know Jesus would change your life, you're using actions to show how the works of God have changed you.
ACTIONS SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS.

Lord, this is what i wanna show towards my classmates and friends around me.
I'll study hard, produce excellent results. A testimony for Your name, Your glory.
Even when Im facing the darkest part of my life, I will still be clinging close
to Your arms. Because I know, there's no love that can be compared to Yours.

LAST PAPER TMR AH.

KANA, LAST PAPER TMR. Study till sick sia. Got flu, a lil sore throat and stuff like that.. My goodness.
Today's retail accouting paper was manageable too.
Ended the paper like 9.23am.
But decided to respect the paper, stayed on till 10am. Oh well, 2 wrongs on the mcq.
The rest of the paper shouldn't be a prob lol.
Tmr's last paper~ Marketing woots.

Studied from like 11am++ till 4pm with weilin and wenqin.
Are we nerds or what? Everyday study study like 5hours in school lol.
Ate kuay chup at mensa after studying, went home after that.


Hmm. on the way home on the bus, there was this guy in a uniform. He was running after bus servic no.8 lol. But was unable to catch the bus at the first bus stop.. So he decided to chase after the bus with his heavy sch bag from the first stop the the second one. The distance was like 300metres.
Wow, i was inspired by his determination to hop on the bus.
Finally, he managed to board that bus. Clap claps.

Somehow God spoke to me heh. It was like, clinging on to him even though we are
facing hardships at times. The reward would be great at the end of day.
By clinging on to him, we would have the motivation to do anything..
Be it studies, relationships, work, friends.
As long as we hold on, we would reap what we sow.

ABCDEFG.

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler than change

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

It's easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
It's easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Easier to Run - Linkin Park

Lol, POM was manageable :) Added a lot of extra details to make time pass.

After that, studied in the library with Wenqin, Weilin, Jacq and Kaye.
Kaye and Jacq went off first.. While the rest of us studied till like 5.30pm.
Went Mensa to eat lol. Haven't beeen eating the salad bar's western food for like 7 days alr haha. FINALLY LOL. There was no queue, shiok shiok.
Went home after that.





I remembered those days back then. 14th Feb 2007.
Rushed down to heartland mall to pick the flowers up. Headed down to your school.. Waited for you outsde. Finally, you came out with your friends.
It was quite embarassing when I actually passed the flowers to you. It had the bear with a phrase, "I love you" whn you squeeze it.
Everyone was like staring at us. Luckily I didnt blush or anything lol. Even remembered you passed the flowers to Louise. And someone that passed by asked if that flower was for her.

Another day that I remembered was when we quarrelled over your health. It was during the december hols 2007 if I didn't remember wrongly. You were sick and kept playing maple -.- Either you were forced by En or what lol.
And I reached lavender at about 6pm, wanted to apologize for being such a busybody.. Hoping that you'd come down and patch stuffs up.
Waited and waited, called up Clarence, asked where you were roughly staying at. So that I could do melt those little hundreds of candles on the ground of your void deck and formed a sentence that says smth like, "I'm Sorry, please forgive me".
Waited for 6 hours already, its 12am -.- . No bus home, no train home. In the end, cabbed home with disappointment. Spent quite a lot on the candles, plus the bloody cab fare too -.-
Hmm, I'd wonder how sweet would it be if you could see the lighted candles of words.
Lol wasted huh.

Haha, how naive and foolish i was. These foolish memories will always be kept :)
Just wanna say, thank you once again. You really helped me a lot in many ways.
As a friend, yeah, Im always there for you :)
Hope today's O level chinese paper was manageable for you.
All the best for O's, get into a good JC if you can.

Its easier to replace pain with something numb.

Woke up at 7am.. Yeah! Managed to reach punctually for first service.
The presence of God was so thick and yes, could felt his love. Its an indescribable
feeling. Perhaps only you'll know when you encounter him yourself.
And it ain PSYCHOLOGICAL. Because back then before I was a non-believer of christ, I felt his presence only after attending church for 8 consecutive weeks w/o believing that he exist.

After 1st service ended, slacked around.. Ate lunch and stuffs.
Before 3rd service started, took some pictures..
AND YES, Zoie was so short that I've got to bend my knees so much that it almost touches the floor LOLS.










Service ended, they talked about bgr again..
From what they say : To choose a compatible companion, you need to be emotionally free, spiritual maturity level the same. Bla bla bla lol.

Headed to hougang to pay respect to laopek. It was a christian funeral eh. Sang amazing grace in chinese version during the funeral service. It was a nice experience.
Everything ended at about 9pm. Went home after that.

Sorry S! First quiz scored 5/8, 2nd quiz scored 0! :(
Quiz dont matter, what matter is the friendship!

Life about yesterday.

Friday- Ytd.

Reached sch at about 10.45am, met
S along the way at the bridge of school!
Coincidence hahahaha. Said hi, and moved on.

Headed down to clark quay ytd to meet up with brothers after sch ended.
Ate bak kut teh! I'll give it like 8/10 for it haha.
Next time I'll bring more friends there, nice environment too.
Except for one waitress, gave us attitude.

Funniest part of the day was, Dillion wanted to ask for the menu list.. Instead, he said, " xiaojie, gei wo mai dan."
LOLS. Haven't even eat anything yet, wanna pay for food haha.
ASKING FOR BILL AND MENU IS A TOTAL DIFFERENT THING MY BRO.
Your chinese sucks, lawls.

Hmm, after that slacked at the river side of clarke quay, watch the beautiful scene, laughed at the people who were on the thrill ride.. Its something like space shot in Genting lol.
Talk cock, sing song play mahjong. It was 9.30pm, decided to train home.
Dillion and Yuan stayed back while the rest of us went home.

I know there's something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You've built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.

Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why,
But listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
The feeling of belonging to your dreams.

Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why,
But listen to your heartbefore you tell him goodbye.

And there are voicesthat want to be heard.
So much to mentionbut you can't find the words.
The scent of magic,the beauty that's been
When love was wilder than the wind.

Listen to your heartwhen he's calling for you.
Listen to your heartthere's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why,
But listen to your heartbefore you tell him goodbye.

Listen To Your Heart - DHT

EMO SONG RIGHT. HAHA.
Just wanna give a shoutout to those in r/s, cherish the one you have right now (:
Work towards the r/s instead of thinking of breaking up heh.
Love is about COURTSHIP, AINT ABOUT DATING.
Everyone should have the mindset in a r/s, once you're in a commitment with the other party, you work towards marriage. If you're just playing, dont fucking call that love. THATS LUST.

So yeah, all the best to everyone out there.

Early morning.

Basket, woke up 5am in the morn.. Reached sch at 7.30am.
The bloody comp lab wasn't open till 8am. zz.
Managed to complete my final peice of the csa proj.
Its so bloody laychay. Cos i dont have microsoft excel at home.

Hmm. Done csa with WeiLin today after sch ended.
Learnt "=VLOOKUP" format finally hahaha. Went through trials and error with WL.

Thanks bro, for the help. Its a blessing to have such a nice classmate (:

Went to eat lunch, chatted about life with WL.
After that, went home.

Study period, no dota for me.

What a long day.

It's a long, long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long, long journey and I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long, long journey
Till I find my way home to You

Many days I've spent Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter
I know I will cry
I know You'll be standing by my side
It's a long, long journey
And I need to be close to You

Sometimes it seems no one understands I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will You break down these walls and pull me through?

'Cause it's a long, long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control

It's a long, long journey
Till I find my way home to You.

Journey - Corrine May

What a great song huh.
Even when times are down for us. With God's LOVE, we will always pick ourselves up and stand strong once again.

Hmm.. Tonned at Dillion's house ytd with Ernie. Played dota, slacked, joke and most importantly, did some of my csa work. Slept at 3am..

Woked up at about 7.30. Roughly 4 hours of rest only!
Washed up and left Dillion's house.. Met up with MengYun and Kellyann at boonkeng's KFC.
Ate, laughed ( as usual for the 2 girls ) and then headed to Orchard.

Reached there, collected our stuffs for flag day. Hmm, the fund raising is for the children's association.
Sky and I walked from Orchard to Bugis! On the way, collected a lot of donations from people on the streets haha.

After flag day ended, head towards the new church.
Well, it was good! Love the atmosphere. Its so much better than the main church.
Its going to be everyone's raw effort to bring the church up. So yeah, I guess its going to mean a lot to me when the church really grows.

2 girls = bomb.

Came in late to CSA LAB at 9.20am. 20mins late hahaha.
Well, had csa mock test. I was like staring onto blank space when the discount thingy appear.
"=vlookup(blablabla)" shits -.-

Decided to buy the csa book to revise on it. Test are coming up soon.. Gotta mug really really hard for it. At least 3.7/4 for gpa for this semester.

Well, had econs lecture.. Class was super noisy. Pity the lecturer leh. During tutorial for econs too. I guessed he can't control the class ba. Too "soft hearted" alr.
Econs is all about understandng ba. Memorise blindly leads to nowhere lol. Practice in econs is inevitable too.

Class ended, saw Ann and Emi outside the bus stop. They were like, "Aiseh! Going out with the bunch of girls." Lol. I was like, bo bian what. Class majority are girls haha.
Sia la, in the bus.. Sibei buay tahan. Michelle kept immitating everyone in class. When she immitated Kellyann, she was like having a constipated voice LOLS.

Reached tamp, Kelly and Jacq printed their photos at the photoshop.. Went pasar malam to grab some food haha.
After that, walk around tamp mall, slack slack walk walk. And the girls laugh laugh again -.-

Decided to take Bus23 home with Kelly instead of Bus22.. Well, that route was much slower i guess. Need to walk quite a distance to BoonKeng mrt.. then 133 home. Took me like 1hr 10mins. Whereas my usual route like 50mins or so. haha.
But still, enjoyed the ride home.
Crapped a lot with Kelly, the retard haha.

When He gave his life for us, He suffered and died.

Hmm. class as usual today. Studied on econs till 5.30pm after sch ended. Supposed to study till like 7pm.. But then someone pangseh! LOLS.

Bused home after that. Wanted to approach the police station to report my missing donation card. But was too lazy lol. Maybe tmr or smth ba hahaha.

Yesterday Sky, Michelle, Elynn, Kellyann, MengYun and I went to watch "Angels & Demons". Quite interesting.. Give it like 4.5/5 bites for it. The epic moment was when the "God-particle" exploded on the air. The sky became like super BRIGHT.
YEAH! Catch it guys, its a nice show (:

GRATS MOTHER JANNA ON ACCEPTING CHRIST!

Hey mother, Just wanna wish you all the best in your life.
Now that you have Jesus in your life, hope that you'd always cling on to him no matter what happens. I'll be your "Son" forever, hopping to gve you advices in times to come.

This is the greatest decision you'd ever make.
So yeah, LOVE YOU~ Stay close to God no matter what.

Love is a hard thing to express.

Cruel to the eye
I see the way he makes you smile
Cruel to the eye
Watching him hold what used to be mine
Why did I lie?
What did I walk away to find
Ooohhh - why
oooh - why

I can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side
No I can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

Curse me inside
For every word that caused you to cry
Curse me inside
I won't forget, no I won't baby,
I don't know why (don't know why)
I left the one I was looking to find
Ooh - why
ooooh, why?

I can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side
No I can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

No I can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air.

Out of my mind
Nothing makes sense anymore
I want you back in my life
That's all I'm breathing for
Ooooooohhhhh.

Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side.
I can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air
There's no air

Breathe easy- Blue

This song makes me think twice of having a r/s lol. IS school really that small? Or is it just fate.

Btw, projects are pilling up. So yeah. Its time to work doubly hard.
Like what Dr Tan shared today,
VISIONS are plans that are put into actions.
Plans without actions are known as DREAMS.

Vision or Dream? You decide.

Its all about bringing Him glory.

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You
With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

You are the voice that calls the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home

I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

I'll trust in you
You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name.

Till I see you - Hillsong.

AMEN!

Lord God, keep me strong in your arms.
I don't need respect and praises from pastors, leaders, church members.
But respect from my fellow non-christian friends. I wanna be someone where they would know that Christianity is about having a relationship with you, God.

Let my actions be the voice of Your word. Let Your glory shine in my achievements.
For You have changed my life.

I wanna be someone that is selfless, a friend to everyone instead of being an enemy.
So I'll learn to be giving, understanding.

I wanna be someone that would plant churches instead of burning them down.
So I'll work hard for my studies, my future career.

Keep me in Your love. So that I'll persevere in any trials and complete the race.

As the upcoming obstacles gets tougher.

You don't remember me, but I remember you
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
But who can decide what they dream?
And dream i do...

I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live, to breathe
You're taking over me

Have you forgotten all i know
And all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
I knew you loved me then
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me

I look in the mirror and see your face
If i look deep enough...So many things inside that are just like you are taking over

I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me

I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me
You're taking over me.

Taking over me - Evanescene

Hmms, sch ended at about 1pm. Did the csa thingy with Jeremy with the help of bestie aka Kaye~

After completing it, Jacq came into the comp room and said, " Eh steady la, save me a copy of your work." LOLS, slacker.

Parted our ways, revised on POManagement at the library for like 2hours plus. Hmm, felt that sense of achievement haha. Kaye caught up with me after she printed the lecture notes. THANKS BESTIE FOR THE NOTES. (:

Ended at about 4pm. Grabbed Mensa's "Fish Special meal". It cost 4bucks and yet it taste so heavenly. I'd give it like 20/10 sia.

Met Vivien at starbucks about 5plus.. She helped me on Marketing. Geoferry is her lecturer in SIM too. My goodness, that joker.

Hmms, got a better view on marketing's environment. Thanks Vivien for taking the time (:

Bused home at about 7.15pm, somehow felt that loneliness emotion.
Love sick or what? I don't know lol.